The Swords of Lankhmar

The Swords of Lankhmar is a book by Fritz Leiber.

It is the fifth in the canonical series concerning Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, and is the only one presented as a complete novel.

Plot Summary

(Although presented as a novel, the first third was published as Scylla's Daughter.)

Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser return to Lankhmar after some time away, and casually rout a bunch of heavies who are awaiting to obtain recompense for debts unpaid and (more likely) thefts perpetrated. This ambush was in fact laid on specially as a test of their mettle. The Overlord of Lankhmar, Glipkerio Kistomerces, wishes to employ them.

They are on a diplomatic mission to Movarl, Overlord of the Eight Cities, aboard a grain ship Squid, one of several. Also on this ship are the Demoiselle Hisvet, her maid Frix and her twelve white rats. These rats are highly trained, and perform tricks for entertainment. Also on board ship is a black kitten, who (not surprisingly) is far from happy about being in the presence of these rats.

Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser are in competition for the charms of Hisvet, who is (not to put too fine a point on it) coquettish. She appears to favour the Gray Mouser, as he seems less loutish and has a slicker tongue.

With a great big 'Hoongk!', out of the fog of nowhere emerges a gigantic reptilian head. Before Fafhrd can recover from his surprise, out comes another even larger one. The latter is being ridden by a man who is cursing in German. He is an interdimensional collector of beasts for a zoo on some version of Earth, one presumes, somewhere in the Multiverse. He has a Lankhmarese-German dictionary, which he can employ to some useful effect. He introduces himself as Karl Treuherz, and his sea-monster as Scylla in tribute to Homer. Scylla, apparently, eats rats. She definitely goes for Hisvet with a lunge, which is a mortifying display of bad manners in Treuherz's eyes. He rides Scylla away with a cordial apology.

Meanwhile it appears that the Clam, one of Squid's sister ships, has been overrun with rats and has foundered. Hisvet's rats are blamed (via some superstition), and it is noticed that probably one of them is missing. There are surely but eleven now. Mouser springs to her defence (besotted as he is). The other sailors are suspicious, and now suspect Mouser for being in league with the rats. A challenge is issued, and Fafhrd beats Lukeen in one-to-one combat, thereby upholding Hisvet's honour.

Fafhrd and the Mouser have pledged themselves to watch Hisvet and her rats continuously, so as to ensure that none of them is the instrument of another ship going down. However, the pair are drugged by the cook and tied up. This is unfortunate, as the rats take over the ship. Not only are there the eleven white rats, but many ordinary black ship rats, all co-ordinating their attack on the remaining sailors that haven't fled in terror. However, Frix and Hisvet refuse to free our two heroes, still tied up against the ship's fitments. Fafhrd is still asleep from the drugged curry, while the Mouser has gradually been sawing through his bonds with a sharpened coin. The black kitten is clawing away at Fafhrd's face, trying to wake him, because the pair desperately need to be free and alert.

Squid is boarded by Hisvin, the father of Hisvet, and his henchmen. They discuss their grandiose lunatic plan for the rats (to which they are clearly kin) taking over the world. Skwee, chief of Hisvet's rats, can be heard speaking Lankhmarese. Bug by now the kitten has woken Fafhrd up by clawing his face to tatters and biting him on the nose. Fafhrd can hear Karl Treuherz's cursing in the mist, so with a great 'Hoongk! Hoongk!' calls Scylla. Mouser finally breaks free, and frees Fafhrd. Copious mayhem, which includes Scylla arriving and eating most of the rats on board Squid (did I mention she eats rats?), and the ship is saved. Treuherz exchanges greetings once more, and then, having found his own transport, hies off to his own homeworld with Scylla.

(This is the end of the part of the novel originally published as Scylla's Daughter.)

---

We next meet Fafhrd, hung over, having been debauching in Kvarch Nar, chief of the Eight Cities. He's been a naughty boy, and now has to flee to avoid a severe drubbing by the natives.

Meanwhile, Lankhmar is in the grip of a plague of rats. We meet a maid employed by Glipkerio Kistomerces. (It is worth pointing out, because this is apparently important to the author, that his maids are shaven hairless all over, and go completely naked.) This particular maid, startled by a rat unexpectedly poking its head up from under a loose tile, drops a tray of confectionery all over the floor. So she's going to get a severe whipping.

The Gray Mouser arrives back in Lankhmar, and presents himself at the Imperial palace, to find that Hisvin has arrived first, and has the ear of Glipkerio. He is going to cast a spell, he says, that will rid Lankhmar of the rats, but it has to wait for auspicious astrological circumstances. Anyone with half a brain-cell's worth of astrological know-how, Lankhmar or not, will know that Hisvin is talking the most righteous rubbish, but Glipkerio is evidently so lacking.

Mouser meets Reetha, the slave that we met earlier, and notes the whip-marks. He knows Samanda, the mistress of the kitchen, of old, and knows that it is she who administers the whippings. The Mouser is, of course, the only one to have shown humanity to Reetha that she can remember.

Meanwhile, Fafhrd finds himself in the middle of a war between the Mingols and the Eight Cities, which is somewhat thwarting his aim to find his way back to Lankhmar. But something is upsetting even the Mingols ...

And the plague of rats is worsening in Lankhmar. But The Mouser is still lust-struck with Hisvet, to such an extent that only she can arouse him. This is probably because of the needle (a dart from a crossbow dimensioned for a rat that he has received on board the Squid) embedded in the skin of his temple - a powerful lust-spell indeed. He meets her clandestinely in a secret garden; she allows him to caress Frix in proxy to her, as long as he gaze at Hisvet, such is the level of coquettish arrogance that she can get away with. Except at the height of passion he is attacked by a pair of Mingols, and he barely escapes. At this stage the Mouser decides he is woefully out of his depth, and decides to go to his patron, Sheelba of the Eyeless Face, for advice.

Fafhrd, meanwhile, in the ruins of Sarheenmar, finds himself in combat with a gang of Ghouls, a breed of humanoid whose flesh is invisibly transparent to such an extent that they look like animated skeletons. He kills three of them, then realises (from the cosmetics on her breasts) that the fourth one is female (and for all of who he is, he does not kill women). He knocks her out and carries her off across the saddle of his horse.

And in Lankhmar, the plague of rats worsens yet more. And the most frightening thing of all is that they seem to be becoming more and more humanly intelligent. If only, sighs Glipkerio, Hisvin would loose off his deadly anti-rat spell!

Meanwhile, Sheelba gives the Mouser a potion, which he is to drink "where rats are foregathered". The effects, whatever they are, will last nine hours. And that's about all the help Sheelba will give.

And in Lankhmar: On board the Squid, we see the black kitten, which has climbed to the top of the highest mast. Glipkerio is hectoring Hisvin to cast that spell (but the latter claims the astrological signs are not yet optimum). Reetha dreams of Samanda kneeling in chains at her feet. A girl can dream; meanwhile she reports her latest offence to Samanda, who is to organise a time for her whipping and let Glipkerio know, so he can watch. (Such is the personal predilection of Glipkerio.)

While the Mouser, back in Lankhmar, catches up on his sleep while Nattick Nimblefingers mends his clothes.

Fafhrd and the Ghoul he has captured, Kreeshkra, have become lovers. He calls her Bonny Bones, she calls him Mud Man. And a deep and abiding love it may well prove to be. How come she fancies him neither of them can fathom. But in the throes of passion by a campfire under the stars, Fafhrd receives a message (and a mysterious whistle) from Sheelba, and he must leave Kreeshkra and make haste to Lankhmar, where the Gray Mouser is in grave danger. Their parting is sad and bittersweet.

In Lankhmar, the rats are murdering the inhabitants: cats, dogs, Princess Elakeria's marmoset, babies, drunks, even Elakeria's mother (who is also Glipkerio's aunt). And nobody has the means to fight back, try as they might. Panic sets in and people start to flee in quantity. Glipkerio's cousin, Radomix Kistomerces-Null (who is a noted cat-lover) is rumoured to be planning to take over the throne, and (pacifist, or coward, that he is) flees to the slums, where he has allies. Meanwhile, Reetha has been whipped and tortured so much that she no longer has much fear of it, merely resignation.

The Grey Mouser is off out, having woken past midnight. What he encounters is disturbing - the streets are ruled by intelligent rats, and he is in serious danger, being alone and out after dark. And like a fool he has left his potion under his pillow at Nattick's place. He finds a street that is still crowded with humanity, intending to return to Nattick's. And on the way he sees Frix, who drops a love-note from Hisvet to him (exhorting him to bravery and patience) before slipping away through the crowd. And he finds himself outside the temple of the Gods of Lankhmar, who Do Not Want To Be Disturbed. And this gives him the germ of an idea.

Meanwhile, Fafhrd is making his way to Ningauble, upsetting the dwellers of Ilthmar on the way (difficult not to if you don't pay their hefty tolls). Fighting his way out of a brawl, he is pursued all the way to Ningauble by Ilthmar bandits.

Glipkerio can't concentrate on the council meeting because he's anticipating the disciplining of Reetha. (This is to happen at three that afternoon.) Hisvin tells him that at midnight his spell will be spoken, but Glipkerio doesn't want to know; his mind is already experiencing Reetha being whipped. But Hisvin specifically warns Glipkerio against the Gray Mouser, and this warning may well stick.

The Gray Mouser, indeed, has several friends in the employ of the Palace, which is useful. He announces himself there, and is admitted for an audience with Glipkerio. While waiting, he finds his way to the kitchen, where he spies on Samanda getting ready to give Reetha a whipping (it being nearly three). He topples Samanda with a wet soapy mop, and grabs Reetha to take her away. Too late - Glipkerio and an entourage of soldiers and the like have descended on the place. The only thing to do - down the trapdoor into the cellar, where they are surrounded by rats. Time to drink the potion - and the Mouser find himself shrunk to the size of a rat. So much for Reetha thinking the Mouser would rescue her. As the Mouser disappears down a rat-hole, Samanda has now got Reetha back in chains again.

TO BE CONTINUED