Talk:Christian Coalition

First (instructor) evaluation comments

Hi Miguel,

Here are some suggestions for further improvements to your encyclopedia entry draft. I'm going to stick to the sections you've already been developing, but keep in mind that you still need to fill in the others as well as the related articles, bibliography, and external links subpages.

• The "History" section does a good job of contextualizing the organization's founding in light of the 1988 election; the next step, then, is to add additional subsections in order to chronicle the Christian Coalition's development since the late 1980s.
• Rather than reproduce the 2009 agenda in list form, you might write out full paragraphs on each of the Coalition's current goals in a way that provides more explanation and context to your readers. Take #11, for example -- to someone unfamiliar with the matter, it's not clear at all why Christians in the military are in need of protection and/or what the Coalition is doing to advance this goal.
• Two things to work on throughout the entry: (1) you might put double square brackets (i.e. [[ ]]) around key terms to create links to related articles within Citizendium -- e.g. Pat Robertson, Christian Right; and (2) make sure to proofread carefully; as it stands now, the entry has many typos.

Shamira Gelbman 15:25, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

Butting in, but, when looking into such Christian Coalition issues as Christians in the military needing protection, get alternate views, such as those who feel people in the military need protection from Christian proselytizing and influence. Howard C. Berkowitz 15:54, 7 October 2009 (UTC)

Second (peer) evaluation comments

Miguel,

A few things I noticed while looking over your encyclopedia entry:

• Grammatically, the biggest things I noticed were a number of misspelled words and some words that were capitalized but don’t need to be. While developing my entry, I found it easier to input what I had already typed in Microsoft Word to take advantage of its spelling and grammar check.
• In the ‘Founding’ section, you might want to include a sentence or two explaining who Ralph Reed is.
• You could probably expand a bit more on each of the objectives you listed, particularly point number eleven.
• Be sure to note that the organization has gone into a period of decline since Robertson passed leadership on to Reed. As for controversies, I think the organization was forced to pay back money to the government after it was discovered the organization had a partisan slant, violating its tax-exempt status.

Other than that, just keep filling in the rest of the sections with more information. Your interest group isn’t as large or prominent as most others, so you might want to add new sections of your own if you need to.

Andrew Cross 20:32, 28 October 2009 (UTC)